Looking California and Feeling Minnesota

It's been around eight months since I downloaded Radiohead's "In Rainbows" for 2 quid and in the meantime I've probably listened to the album all the way through maybe twice. I haven't listened to Thom Yorke's "The Eraser" much either. I'm still thrilled to see them at Lollapalooza in August and I declared "Pyramid Song" as the perfect "waking up from a nap" song over Memorial Day weekend. So I don't think my enthusiasm for Radiohead has diminished.

Part of the problem is the time I have for listening to music these days is on the train in the morning and when I'm at the gym and neither circumstance is conducive to listening to Mssrs. York, Greenwood, Greenwood, O'Brien and Selway. More importantly, my life right now isn't conducive to listening to Radiohead either. Their songs may not be about despair and loneliness. But the part of me that wants to listen to them is definitely.

What I'm feeling right now is a variation of blissed out with a sense of impending doom. So is it any suprise that the song I'm really feeling right now is "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. I mean isn't "Radiohead except hopeful with a steak of sad instead of vice versa" exactly the way you would describe Coldplay to someone who had never heard them. Today during my lunch break I bought the album of the same name and nothing on the album suggests it will be another "Rush of Blood to the Head" or even "Parachutes." In fact, I'll probably listen to it en total about the same number of times as "In Rainbows". Despite all of that, the song "Viva La Vida" can basically describe my moment.

I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and she observed that the Lakers needed to start playing defense and making their shots. Lo and behold Lons Angeles was blown off the court last night surrendering 131 points while only scoring 92. Then this morning she stopped by my desk to return my copy of "Viva" and made an equally outstanding point albeit one which is less scientifically verifiable. The song would absolutely make sense as a U2 single. It's not too much of a leap to imagine Bono singing "I used to roll the dice/Feel the fear in my enemies eyes/Listen as the crowd would sing/'Now the old king is dead, long live the king'!" in 100% earnestness.

The difference is Coldplay, as Klosterman describes, "manufactures fake love as frentically as the Ford Motor Company manufactures Mustangs" and I need that in a generous helping right now. Not fake love per se but emotion that I'm not actually feeling that makes me feel like Bono and that I may be able to accomplish anything. Thom Yorke or Morrisey or even Rivers Cuomo can't give that to me. I don't feel lonely and full of despair. I feel like I'm on my way to Great U2-sized things except on the scale of a single human life and I need fake reassurance more than I need a reflection of my real fear.