Five Greeting Card Messages I Never See in Stores - Exchange

Five Greeting Card Messages I Never See in Stores
By Mark Anderson

Happy Birthday
I'm only giving you this card so you won't complain
about not getting anything from me.

Anniversary
Wow. That felt a lot longer than a year, didn't it?

Going Away
I'd say I'll miss you but we'll probably talk more
now that you're leaving.

Graduation
I gave the cash to your parents for safe keeping.

Sympathy
While I'm sorry to hear about your husband's death,
I think we all know he had it coming.

Exchange
By Michael Herman

I'm twenty-three years old and I'm sitting in front of the television. The program I'm watching is the popular sports highlight program and they're showing players just a little younger than me playing basketball. A nineteen year old is dunking the ball over a twenty-one year old when I get a very common feeling. I realize I've never dunked a basketball in my life and now that I'm past my physical peak I probably never will.

I'm twenty-five years old and I'm talking on the phone with my mother. She's telling me about my father like she normally does and I start to listen not to what she's saying but how she sounds as she says it. Her stern, ringing voive which would scold me as a child has disappeared and been replaced by a much quieter and frail voice. As I wonder if she's always used that voice with other people, she stops to take a long breath. I interrupt her story.

"I love you, Mom."

I'm twenty years old and I've snuck into a campus bar with my friends. Now it seems less impressive and I should've recognized a number of kids from my class who were also there. At the time though I'm very nervous and expecting to be caught any minute. My friend who is twenty-one years old puts his hand on my shoulder. I jump slightly.

"Hey, man. Loosen up. Enjoy yourself. No one cares."

I'm twenty-eight years old and I'm at work in my cubicle. My boos has me re-typing a report I wrote six months ago. She's given me plenty of time to basically take out the stats from then and replace them with the stats from now. I may change the way some of it fits together. Changes I would've made if I hadn't rushed it the first time. Otherwise I'm bored and wonder if anyone who will read this report cares.

I'm twenty-seven years old and I'm at the gym. I've been running on the treadmill and I can feel my cotton t-shirt sticking to the small of my back. On my way to the lockerroom I pass the basketball courts. The men, many ten years younger than me, move in quick spasms and one gets past his defender with the ball. He takes two steps to get into the air and puts the ball lightly off the glass and it falls into the hoop.

"Next time, dunk that!" one of his teammates screams.

He smiles and runs back on defense. I wonder if he can or ever could.

I'm twenty-five years old and I tell my mom I love her. She stops what she's talking about and takes a deep breath.

"I love you too."