Katzenjammer - I Am The Electron Pt. 1

(Let's just pretend this went up last night after work. Didn't have time to type it up then.)

Katzenjammer
By Mark Anderson

Heaven only knows
why one loves it so.

I would stand up
but my right foot is asleep.

Sometimes
insurance commercials
break my heart.

I Am The Electron
By Michael Herman

The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle is one of the most misunderstood scientific theories of our time, on par with evolution or global warming. Don't know it by name? That's okay and kind of proves my point in a way.

The Uncertainty Principle states on a sub-atomic level we can know either a particle's location or its velocity but not both. Most who misuse it utilize it as a way to explain away indefinite situations. It's a lot easier to think a confusing situation is simply unknowable than to dig deeper. This is not what Uncertainty is about at all. There's actually a mechanical reason we can know one or the other but not both.

Let me back up just a bit. We see things because it either emits light or reflects it. In most cases, it is the latter. We see the red of the rose because light hits the petals and all of the different wavelengths are absorbed except the ones out eyes see as red. The red wavelengths are reflected into our eye, our ocular nerve converts it into electrical code and our brain decodes it as "RED." The way we see subatomic particles is the same. A scientist fires a little bit of light at the particle, the light reflects or absorbs on to a piece of film and the scientist decodes what is on the film as "ELECTRON."

The problem is the invisible wavelengths used to see subatomic particles get really powerful quickly. To see exactly where an electron is, the wave has to be focused in such a high frequency it will knock the electron off its course. You know its exact location but instantly lose it in the process. Alternately we can use a lower power, lower frequency wavelength which tells us the general area the particle falls in without disturbing it. By comparing two of these snapshots, we can follow its general movement and therefore determine its general velocity in a "It was kind of over here and now it's kind of over here," way.

to be continued